HONESTY

Okey, alot have changed for me the last couple of weeks. I stopped travelling and realised that Im not gonna afford to go to Australia right now. And yeah that sucked a lot. But its not the end of the world. So I started thinking. Where the hell am I gonna get money from? I have no job, no home. But I do know a lot of people and I still had my original plan. Moving to Norway. So here I am, in Oslo. Been living here for a week now. Right now Im living with my friend who´s a beautiful soul and his roomies. He´s been great and so welcoming. Even tough its winter and we all know how you can get in winter. I get like that every winter. You just wanna sleep, sleep and sleep.

If Im gonna be honest its been hard. Fuck harder than I taught it would be. Ive lost myself a little bit in the process and been stressing so much about it. I haven´t been listening to my body or my soul. Just wandering around everyday with some sort of anxiety. And oh i know that feeling a little bit to well. I have to relax, and let my body and mind realise that this is my home for a while now and that you can´t stress everything. Even now writing this I´m stressing because it didnt turn out as I wanted it to. But then again that´s life shit happens. Its just hard to adjust. Ive never been to Norway before and now Im gonna live here. But I´m missing the fun part. A new country, new people, new places to discover and a whole new world Ive never seen before. 

So I decided, even tough i should look for a job like crazy, Im just gonna stop for a bit. Take a couple of days, sleep until noon if i want to and do fun stuff, draw, take walks and just be. Just freaking be. Because all the things i need to do has been to much and it can wait. I have money to last me atlest 2 months without a job maybe even three. 

I was depressed for so long and only been well for a year. That makes it so easy falling back. 

Old ways of thinking, stressing. So now for the next couple of days Im just gonna relax, get myself back together. Doing yoga and meditation. To find myself again.

I just wanna be happy, energetic me. Who I am. So lets find her again and get a job. Ive been trough worse and theres nothing in this world that I can´t take so this compared to so much else I´ve been trough should be a peice of cake. It already feels better just to admit that I´m not doing that well.

It can only get better from here.