Open your heart

Every day can´t be a good day, cause then the good days wouldnt be good.
Todays been a really bad day. Have no energy what so ever. I´m stressed and have to listen to my body. It´s been so much going on ever since I got home. Been doing stuff all the time and havent eaten properly. Well now it cought up to me. Just been lying in bed all day, thinking of what to do. And all the stuff I have to do. No good at all. I´m thinking maybe to skip the festival in Portugal, listen to my body and just take it easy, to much change in to little time is not good. And getting rid of all my stuff, not having a proper apartment anymore, its a lot. But I never say never, maybe I book some planetickets and go anyway but right now my plans is just gonna be to take it easy and focus on the things I have to do.
Its hard poring your heart out. Or just admit that you having a bad day. Just before my travel I didn't open up, I didn't tell people about the shit in my life. Cause i couldn't and i didn't want people to treat me differently, or look at me with pity. Then an amazing person thought me that you can´t live like that, to much bubbles up in the end. You have to talk about your problems or otherwise it becomes to much. And oh i know that. I´m a really bad crier or I don't cry. Maybe two or three times a year. And instead of feeling sad I always try to do something that makes me happy instead so i don't think of the fact that I´m sad. It ended up with me having a lot of panic-attacks. Rarely get them anymore, but this last couple of days I´ve had the symptoms a little bit. So now its time to listen to my body again. Take it easy, breath, maybe some yoga and be at ease.
Looked at some old photoalbums and cried a bit today, and who figured it made me feel 100 times lighter. Sometimes all it takes is to just cry a bit.